And why I joined toastmasters
My Myers-Briggs type is INTJ. I'm a classic introvert, where I feel depleted from extensive social interaction and rarely throw myself outward to engage with others with whom I don't already have some established relationship. The notion of presenting in a large forum, speaking at an event, or anything that puts me front and center of a large audience stresses me out!
Earlier in my career, I would totally freeze up, stumble over my words, and subsequently be very embarrassed by how silly I must have looked. It was also around this time that I received valuable feedback from my manager - I needed to work on my presenting and speaking skills. It wasn't just in the form of presenting to a large audience, but also in key stakeholder meetings with leadership. I was not speaking up and therefore no one was hearing my input - I was deadweight and not adding value to meetings. So I sat down with my manager to work on my development goals and as much as I tried to avoid it, I knew I had to add: "Get more comfortable speaking in front of large groups", and we decided the best way for me to do this was to actually sign up to present in front of large groups at least 3x in the coming quarter.
Shortly after, I was tapped to present to an incoming summer intern class representing the Revenue team to provide an overview of our organization and how it fit into the broader business. A few weeks later, I found myself stepping up to the stage (yes, we had a stage) in front of several hundred college students explaining to them how the revenue team operated. As a marketer, I knew the odds were not in my favor. This audience did not care about the revenue team or the operations side of the business. Nothing I had to share with them about launch processes or enablement was relevant to them. Worse, I was scheduled at 1145a - the dreaded pre-lunch slot. I tried to crack a joke about my session being the most exciting one they were looking forward to and that it was clearly the sexiest side of the business, but ouch, it was crickets. I pushed through it and the result? I survived. No one died and my ego wasn't terribly bruised. The reality was, that I cared far more than anyone sitting in that audience. To them, I was just 15 minutes of information in a day filled with many other things. We are after all our own worse critics.
So why does my body go into such a hissy fit at the idea of putting myself out there, whether it's in an important meeting, in front of an audience, or even introducing myself to a complete stranger? We're talking like nervous sweats, heart rate accelerating, hands shaking, forgetting basic words type of physical situation here. I never really shared any of this with anyone until years later, as I had started getting less uncomfortable doing it (after having to do it on repeat). It finally occurred to me that many other people feel this way too and it really is just my body's own basic reflex to fear. My fight or flight drive is high. I am afraid of failure and this kicks my body into a panic. But I also learned that the only way people really overcome this and learn to manage it is through practice. And even though years had passed and I felt less anxiety over presenting, I still recognized that I wasn't yet at the level of mastery and comfort I wanted to be. And that's how I ended up signing up for Toastmasters.
This was also a super low-key commitment that my introverted self could handle. I didn't have to go to a physical space, thanks pandemic! I also could just stop going if it was terrible. So I signed up for a virtual Toastmasters group and observed and learned the protocol and how it worked. After my third meeting, I was called upon during a quick round. This practice of responding to a prompt and giving a short and succinct answer is exactly what I needed. It forced me to be concise and find a way to engage my audience. It also meant I had to be okay with the feedback from the group on how I did. And again, it was reinforced that I survived and actually did okay!
I only lasted a few months in my Toastmaster experiment, primarily due to shifting life priorities and then deciding to get my MBA - which is a whole other story! All that to say, repetition in any fashion will help drive confidence and this leads to improved skills. Having this skill set is critical in a professional setting as it's how we influence others, how we contribute to discussions, and how we come across to our partners. So if you're not a natural-born storyteller, extrovert, or the idea of presenting to large groups makes you want to run for the hills, unfortunately avoiding it won't make it any better. Try practicing in smaller, safe settings. Then test it out with less familiar audiences, and definitely consider Toastmasters.
I don't think I'll ever have Kamala like presence, but I can confidently say I'm less terrified and far more comfortable speaking up, succinctly sharing my point of view and even presenting to large audiences.
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